Rose the Wanderer

i can’t even muster the will to think about how i am feeling much less write about it.

fuerza, mi chilito.

Young boy,
Tranquilly laboring at all love’s cultivation
I do believe
I am fortunate to have met you

Young boy,
How ephemeral our grace is in these wind stricken plains
But I do believe
It is our fate to reside here
Away from the mountains of youth and safety
In a fragile meadow
(We build our home)

Young boy,
I see you bloom in this sun that we have shaped
I do believe
You are my companion and lover

Through our rains and wintry phases

I have come to love you for you.

Starting Tuesday, my average week will look like this:

30 hours at the new job.

4 hours tutoring.

18 credit hours.

12 hours at shadeland thrift.

…

Here’s to embracing the calm before the storm.

Will someone please watch this with me?

Mumford and Sons- Little Lion Man

tonight a friend told me:

“there was a study done where people were given a free painting.  they were happy about it.  then afterwards they were called in to have the choice of choosing another painting.  by introducing choice, they were unhappier.  something about choice creates discontent.”

who knew my life could be so comparable to a shitty watercolor of a kitten in an over-sized boot?

perhaps it’s just my state of mind at the moment…

perhaps the pairing with the sweet melodies of whichever indie/folk/experimental/alternative/ambient/lo fi/hi fi/mid fi song to which i am currently listening. (right now: the robot ate me. followed by ramona falls.)

perhaps it’s glancing in the mirror and seeing my plaid jacket and wool socks and feeling like myself, truly myself, for the first time in quite awhile…

yet even so,

even so.

My hands are either shaking with anticipation or low blood sugar, I’m not sure which.

Measuring time in units like years seems somewhat trivial to me…

I usually never think “this year is the year.”  I mostly find myself content trying to catch a handful of life as each moment flies by.

I think the murmurs of travel, forests, circuses, adventure, art and love… music and community…

I think it’s finally the time.